The Power of Words - Part II

Words of Affirmation

There we were, standing on the streets of Chicago on a chilly Sunday morning, waiting for our friend Holly. She was running the Chicago Marathon and we were there to cheer her on. Finally we saw her. "Keep going, you can do it, you're on your way!" we yelled. We moved on to the next checkpoint in the course, straining to spot her in the sea of runners and encouraging her to persevere toward the fulfillment of her dream.

Words of encouragement inspire us - they affirm that who we are is important, not what we do. Our tendency may be to give words of praise. Praise and encouragement are often used interchangeably, but they are different.

Praise

• To express warm approbation of, commendation for, or admiration for.
• To extol or exalt; worship.

Encourage

• To inspire with hope, courage or confidence; hearten. To give support to; foster.
• To stimulate; spur.

SOURCE: The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004

Words of praise focus more on a person's accomplishments and whether the person achieved a certain outcome, rather than recognizing their effort and strengths as an individual. One of the main differences between praise and encouragement is that praise often comes paired with a judgment or evaluation, such as "best" or "first." Whether Holly completed the marathon wasn't important to us; it was her effort we were applauding.

Sadly we often withhold words of encouragement until a person achieves a goal.  The person may learn that in order to be recognized, they have to reach a goal, rather than being appreciated for who they are.  Well-meaning parents or spouses may rationalize withholding encouragement with the thought, "I don't want them to think "good enough" is acceptable."  In reality, we as people are more likely to make wise, responsible choices when we receive words of affirmation along the way, even if we don't achieve a desired goal or outcome.

Change the pattern. Offer words of encouragement, rather than words of praise. Too much praise can create pressure to perform and set up a continual need for approval from others. Encouragement provides a healthy dose of recognition for a person's efforts and progress. By putting verbal, behavioral and situational encouragement into practice, you can provide a person with the internal motivation to persevere.

Encourage with your words and people will be inspired to do their best for WHO they are not for WHAT they do!

Read Part I