Mindfulness: Non-striving

In a society that is goal-oriented and outcome-driven, it may seem paradoxical to be non-striving.  Although setting goals can motivate us to the next level, they can also impose expectations that get in the way of experiencing and accepting the reality of a situation.

In the mindfulness sense, non-striving means no matter how painful, uncomfortable, or frightening a situation may be, we embrace the moment for what it is and allow ourselves to experience it. What does non-striving look like if we want to resolve conflict with another?  It means when we address hurts and misunderstandings, we don't focus on a particular outcome, i.e. the other person agreeing with our position, acknowledging they were wrong, or changing in any way. Non-striving means just accepting what is happening as it is happening.

We approach a situation with the mindset of wanting to understand the other person's perspective and the reality they may not be willing to talk about the conflict. 

When we accept a situation for what it is, change, growth and healing can come about.