When Life Doesn't Turn Out As Planned...for your kids too!

By Beth Norman

Let's be honest, life rarely turns out the way we thought it would. As I peruse through the chapters of my own life, I can clearly see the truth of this statement. Life can be so unpredictable with many twists and turns. It can also be a product of our own perceived and believed limitations. So, how are we to be when we are thrown a curve ball or dealt with a less than desirable hand. What are we to do with pain, the doubt and failure or fallen expectations? How about our kids? Before allowing our thought life to make a move, I think it's important to take notice that life can basically be divided into two spheres, the part in which you really have no control over and the part of your life in which you do. Which part do you think you have ranking control over? The ability to understand and differentiate between these two spheres will enable you to accept the things you cannot change and to live your life much more intentional with the things that you can change!

Simple formula, right? Let's not mislead ourselves into believing that. For me, it takes a lot of work just to remind myself daily on what I already know to be true. After all, aren't we our own biggest competitor? I have to be intentional in my thinking. My thought life is critical to my success or failure in any given situation. Our thoughts are truly the sum of who we are. Everything can be traced back to our thoughts! Imagine that! I think it is fair to say that while intentional thinking may be simple it is also not easy.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to our kids is to teach them that they possess the power to control how they think about any given matter. This permeates not only in how they recover from something that hasn't gone their way but has the potential to guide them through every area of life, for the rest of their life! Realizing that they possess the freedom to choose their thoughts will be their key to success.

As parents, we have an awesome job. I don't think there is a greater responsibility or honor than to have the task of being our children's EXAMPLES. It's like playing Simple Simon with your kids but on a much broader scale. They will seek to follow, so I frequently ask myself, how am I leading? Sure, they will misstep at times, but chances are they will get right back in the game especially if it is modeled. Here, application is crucial. The responsibility part is getting back up on my feet, the honor part, is HOW I get back on my feet. The truth of the matter is, I know that my children are constantly watching my actions, hearing what there is to hear, observing where I go and most certainly listening to my words, as I live out all aspects of my life. Sometimes the mere thought of the magnitude of power I possess to influence my kids can make me want to shriek back. No pressure, of course!

Here are a few key thoughts that have helped me to help my own kids win the battle of getting back up on their feet when life knocks them down.

· Help them to differentiate between the things that they cannot change and the things that they can.

· Teaching by example is BIG and shouldn't be underestimated! Being mindful of myself through the eyes of my child is literally the most effective. When you see your children mirror your good example, it is quite frankly a gift and richly rewarding. 

· Teaching my kids that they can have only one thought at a time in their head, it might as well be a good one and one that will serve them.

As a family, we love to read and memorize famous, wise quotes that have been around for decades. Here are just a few that pack a powerful truth!

• Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right.
• People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
• Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
• Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again.
• Do you see the glass half empty or half full? (have some fun with your kids by demonstrating this one)
• Aim at nothing and you'll hit it every time.
• You have the power to turn a minus into a plus.

When things don't turn out as planned, resist the temptation to stop and remain stuck. Most of these sayings share a common thread of action. Get moving whether you feel like it or not. Get busy in the right direction. Be intentional!