Have you already started your "to-do" list for the Holidays?  The decorating, shopping, party planning.  Before getting caught up in all that you typically do, consider how you would like this Holiday season to be different?  Perhaps more emphasis on people and relationships instead of doing?  Or maybe just doing less or nothing at all?

Mindfulness is about being in the present moment, paying attention to what you are doing while you are doing it. Instead of going through the routine motions of years past, consider approaching the Holidays, aware of what you are experiencing.

The cornerstone of practicing mindfulness is paying attention to your breathing.  When feeling stressed it is not uncommon that your breathing becomes fast and shallow or you actually hold your breathe.   Using the acronym of "Breath", the following are tips for helping you to approach the Holidays and any stressful time mindfully:

B      Breath.
When you start to get overwhelmed with all you have to do or find yourself in an upsetting situation, redirect your focus to your breathing.  Be aware of taking each inbreath, feeling your abdomen expand and deflate with each outbreath.   By doing this for even a few minutes, you are likely to better handle what is before you; calmness replaces anxiety and perspective replaces confusion. 

R      Reflect. 
Do you have a tendency to get caught up in all the tasks before you that you forget to step back and remember the big picture?  What really matters about the Holidays to you?  How do you want the Holidays of 2009 to be meaningful?  By asking yourself reflective questions, you are able to better discern what is really important to you.  Sometimes that may mean doing nothing.  Can you be OK with non-doing?  Then again, there might be a specific action you can take.  Whether you create elaborate Holiday celebrations or keep things very simple, be aware of the motivation behind your choices.   

E      Expectations. 
Do you struggle with wanting a certain outcome and when you don't get it, you are frustrated, hurt, or even angry?  Do you have the dream of having a Norman Rockwell Holiday season, yet know the realities of your finances, family situation, or past rifts get in the way?  Consider saying to yourself "this is how things are right now, it doesn't mean it will always be this way, for right now this is what is happening".  By adopting more of an accepting attitude toward what is actually happening in your present moment, you are living more fully in your life.  How might your perspective change if you chose to appreciate what is, instead of dwelling on how you want things to be?

A      Allow yourself to feel. 

As you begin to slow down and focus on your breathing, feelings may start to surface that have been pushed down or avoided for years.  By allowing yourself to feel whatever you are feeling, without judgment, you are getting to know parts of you.  Feelings are not right or wrong, nor do they define you, they are just there.  With wise attention, you decide how to manage them.  What might happen if this Holiday season you shared more of your feelings with loved ones of what this time of year means to you? And, what they mean to you?

T      Trust. 

Trust the process of allowing things to unfold in their own time and the way they are supposed to.  Change is the one thing we can be certain of.  Even if the Holidays are a tough time of year for you, trust that by slowing down to focus on the present, you can better discern what it is you need to take care of yourself.  You may also discover new ways of celebrating that have more meaning rather than just enduring how you've done things in the past.

H       Honesty. 

There is a common saying "it is, what it is".  By honestly acknowledging your given circumstances, you are dealing with the reality.  It doesn't mean you have to like it, need to take a passive attitude toward resolving it, or that you are resigned to it.   It simply means you are seeing your circumstances for what they are and can then decide on the necessary steps to move forward.

Talk with Bonnie about the mindfulness class offered in November to learn more about incorporating the above into your Holidays.

Pay attention to your breathing and you will