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Simply Intentional: A New Year - Teaching Your Kids How to Make A Goal .... And Score!By Beth Norman
I have finally figured out the best way to teach my kids how to set personal goals for themselves and then be able to hit em out of the park! The answer? . . . . Drum roll please . . . . is to first make one myself! Ta da, are you excited?? Hmmm. I'm talking about a skill that will last and serve a lifetime. This is exciting news!
I've noticed that more and more people are becoming less than enthusiastic about participating in the "traditional" making of New Year's resolutions. Not that any one particular day should determine when it's time for me to make a change, but I just think it's a healthy reminder to regard myself as I welcome in the New Year! I believe the reason why some people throw in the towel on an opportunity that can be extraordinary, is simply because we've had our fair share of repetitive failures and therefore have a less than desirable reputation with ourselves. I also believe it's because we haven't yet fully realized that a resolution is more in line with a lifestyle that requires more than wishful thinking. Can you tell that I'm speaking from experience?
I've learned that goal setting is really a two-sided coin. On the one side there's aspiration. This is where all the desire, the hope, the wishing, and the wanting reside, in seeking to make a better you. This side of the coin is exciting and necessary to goal setting. However, aspirations alone can't get the job done. We can't just aspire to wanting to lose weight, or wishing to be debt free, or hoping for better relationships. I've been there, done that, it doesn't work. It's helpful for me to remember that anything I do externally is temporary. It's like a car that is idly running, going nowhere, wasting it's fuel or energy (sound familiar?) It all depends upon the thought life of the driver. Even the most well intentioned driver can't effect change unless there is a shift. On the other side of the coin is where I have found the power to ignite my aspirations. This is where my 'how to' plan exists. All that is left to seal the deal is my committed decision to follow it.
It's not until I value myself that I can truly help my own kids to do the same! Valuing myself means never adopting the old adage, "do as I say, not as I do." It also means to not stray far from caring for my mind, body and spirit. When I do this, I feel that I'm at my optimal best to take on whatever challenges come my way. And, it is much more likely that my children will value themselves if they see me doing the same. I believe sharing my goals, my successes as well as my failures reveal honesty and realness, which kids are just magnets to. Here are some simple ideas that helped us to teach our kids how to set their own goals and to go about achieving them!
1. Let your kids know what your goals are. My husband creates a visual board. Whatever his goals are, he'll find visuals of them in magazines or online and pastes them on a sheet of paper. Before long it is a collage of all his goals. Many times his goals include our children so they get to see something about themselves in a very positive way. This is a great way to share his goals with our kids, but also serves as an emotional daily motivator for my husband. Have your kids create their own visual boards.
2. Set Your Goals. Traditionally on New Year's Day, we take our kids out to a really nice restaurant. Everyone brings his or her own prepared list of goals. It's really fun to be together and there's always a lively discussion as each one of us share what our New Year aspirations are! We also set a date to come back to the same restaurant in six months for a goal check as well as another great dinner!
3. Following Up. My husband and I make it a point to meet with each one of our kids individually and go over their list. We help them create an action plan so they can experience their own sweet success! We also plan a reward to celebrate their effort!
As the days go by, be intentional by inquiring, encouraging and complimenting each other. This will also help the momentum in keeping the goals and effort alive.
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The 100/0 Principle