Long before we hand over the baton of our legacy, or even realize what our legacy is, it's important to look through the lenses of history.  History is simply a story of the past.  Historian, E.H. Carr states, "History begins with the handing down of traditions; and tradition means the carrying of the habits and lessons of the past into the future.  Records of the past begin to be kept for the benefit of future generations." 

As parents, my husband and I make every effort to incorporate much of the same valued traditions that were instilled in us into the very fabric of our own family.  We also appreciate the unique opportunity we hold to go further than ourselves in seeking to know and value the history of our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents.  This can only add richness to the lives of our children.  This is just the beginning of a family legacy.

History is not just a representative of years past, but it's as current as this very moment.  Recognizing that every day and at every instant I'm making history, nudges me closer to being the intentional mom that I desire to be.  As I regard my own legacy, I'm challenged with such questions as, what's important to me?  Has the manner in which I've lived, mattered? As I parent my kids, are my kids learning how to parent?  Although my legacy is something that eventually will be handed down, creating and enjoying it now with my children is what I choose to focus on.  Legacy is simply your hopes, dreams, thoughts, feelings, values, faith and your hard-earned wisdom (in my case, wisdom also comes in the form of gray hair and wrinkles.) 

My Legacy Lesson:

It's Thanksgiving Day! There was excitement in the air as Grandma and Grandpa were visiting.  Just days before, my husband shared with me that he wanted to provide the opportunity to engage our four kids in some meaningful conversation.  Specifically, listening to Grandma and Grandpa talk about their lives and how things were some 70 to 80 years ago!  What a great idea, I thought!  And so it was.  My kids were engaged.  What!? No running water?  An outhouse for bathroom needs? Really!? A devastating fire that left grandpa and his four other brothers to live in a house the size of our dining room that we now sat in?  Grandpa falling asleep with snow on his bed blankets from the faulty cracked rooftop above?  It was good, it was rich, and it was now a part of who they are.  Long after the conversation was over and the clatter of clean up came to an end, I looked up from the kitchen sink and caught a glimpse of Grandpa and one of my kids still at the table. Still engaged. A moment in time that had legacy written all over it!  Grandpa left his imprint on my kids that day.

In the days that followed, I've asked myself, in our high tech fast paced world, have I forgotten the simplicity of the table and significance of stories past?  I'm drawn to the words of Sen. Mike Lee, in which he states, "That which we ignore or forget our children may never know, and what our children do not know our grandchildren may never realize."

Here are a few ideas that will lead to a legacy not to be forgotten.

* Ask yourself, "What's my legacy?"  Take inventory on what's important to you. Remember and implement traditions that were meaningful to you.  Start your own traditions with your kids.  It's never too late.

* Family photos.  Find old family photos (yes, the black and white ones).  Go as far back as you possibly can.  Granting your kids a visual allows them to see how they came to be!  Display the photo at the dinner table and share a little history of your kids' past.
 

* Back to the table.   Reflect upon the special times and purposes that your table is used for.  The gathering of meals, a meeting place for friends, the center for nightly homework, endless art projects, games, birthday parties and the place where some of life's most important talks have taken place.  Intentionally invite guests to your table where stories are shared and passed down from those you love and admire.  See what happens long after the meal is gone. 

For me, I have recently begun to feel differently (shhh, don't tell my husband) about the left behind stains and time-worn scratches that I have so often complained about on my own table.  Boy, if tables could talk!