"My family gave me a legacy of anger...My family gave me a legacy of revenge...My family gave me a legacy of humor".

  

Above are some of the comments I have heard after people have completed The Legacy Evaluation written by J. Otis Ledbetter and Kurt Bruner (see link below). This tool offers an opportunity to consider what was passed down to you in the categories of emotional, social, and spiritual legacy. Click Here for The Legacy Evaluation

  

Some ideas for using the Legacy Evaluation:

  

· Answer the questions from the context of when you were growing up (before teenager) and the influence from your parents or primary caregivers.
· Sometimes your answers will vary based on if you are thinking about your Mom or your Dad. In those cases when you had different experiences with each parent, take the evaluation on the parent that reflects the most positive influence on who you presently are. Then take it again on the parent who represents the negative. Add the two and the average of the two will give you a pretty good idea of what areas you need to work on the most.
· No one has a perfect childhood. Parents do the best they can with the legacy that was passed down to them. Answering these questions isn't about blaming anyone, rather about understanding in order to create a better legacy for the next generation.
· Share your answers with your spouse, close friend, or Therapist.
· Consider what strengths from your family you want to hold onto? What patterns do you want to change?
· If you are married, consider how each of your upbringings were similar, how were they different? How can knowing more about one another's past help you understand each other better?
· As a couple, how can you blend the strengths from each of your upbringings to pass down to the next generation?
· If single, what aspects of your family legacy are important to you as you consider mate selection?
· Use these questions as a resource in talking with your kids at some point about your upbringing so they can learn about their grandparents.
· It is never too late to change.