| Changing Patterns Newsletter
Making Conscious Choices |
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Happy Holidays!
In this issue of Making Conscious Choices, we address the impact of appreciating the moments of our everyday lives. Whether it is the rush of Holiday activities, experiencing painful emotions, or the ordinary day to day, we can make every moment count by allowing ourselves to truly experience them.
The next Relationship Dynamics Class will be held on Tuesday January 8th addressing the topic of "Living without Regrets". This class will address living intentionally and making each day count. Start the year out focused on who you want to be in your most significant relationships and addressing fears that may be holding you back.
Bonnie
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Celebrate the Moments of Your Life
"Celebrate the moments of your life", there is a commercial with these lyrics, do you know what it is for? Right now I don't remember what the product is, but the song is ringing in my head.
As another year winds down, it is common to reflect back on the past year's happenings - those moments that touched us and made an impact.
One of our family traditions after our Christmas Eve dinner is to share with one another three things:
A highlight from the year
What we are grateful for
Words of wisdom from something we learned (passed down from the oldest to the youngest)
Over the years I have kept a journal of my family's remarks. When I initially started this tradition, the kids grumbled because it prolonged getting to the time when they could open their presents. As they have gotten older, they still grumble a bit, though they now listen attentively and appear to appreciate the people around the table a bit more.
At times we laugh as we reminisce about funny events and goofy things that happened.
Other times, we cry together, such as last year when there was one chair missing due to the loss of Grandma.
It's so easy to get caught up in the busyness of the holidays, or life, for that matter, that we don't take time to savor the moments that have meaning to us. Highlights from the year, things we're grateful for, or the wisdom we gain through experience aren't just about the extraordinary moments; oftentimes they come in the ordinary, least expected ways.
What were the moments this year that touched you?
Share with your family moments of meaning to you and you will feel closer
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Mindfulness: A Beginner's Mind
A Beginner's Mind is one of the seven attitudes of mindfulness practice. It's having a mindset of experiencing something as if for the first time. At that moment, we are able to free our minds of biases and preconceived ideas in order to truly experience what is before us with a genuine appreciation for what it is.
When we embrace a beginner's mind, we are aware, we pause to enjoy, feel, learn, play, explore, discover (or rediscover), wonder about, use our five senses - taste, touch, smell, hear and see. In essence, we open our minds to new possibilities and different perspectives simply by being receptive to what it is we are experiencing while we are experiencing it.
*Segal (et al, 2002) alerts us that:
"A powerful influence taking us away from being "fully present" in each moment is our automatic tendency to judge our experience as being not quite right in some way - that it is not what should be happening, not good enough, or not what we expected or wanted. These judgments can lead to sequences of thoughts about blame, what needs to be changed or how things could or should be different. Often, these thoughts will take us, quite automatically, down some fairly well-worn paths in our minds. In this way, we may lose awareness of the moment, and also the freedom to choose what, if any, action needs to be taken."
What would life be like if you allowed yourself to look at things with a beginner's mind?
Embrace each moment for what it is, and you will experience your life, not just live it
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Relationship Dynamics Class
Has fear of the unknown ever held you back from taking risks? Have you allowed yourself to be hindered professionally, personally, or relationally that has paralyzed you from truly living your life with meaning and purpose? Negative self-talk can manifest itself in many forms that keeps us from living a life of meaning and substance.
In this class, we will explore the essential elements of living without regrets:
- Facing fears associated with negative thinking
- Resolving interpersonal conflicts
- Living a forgiving lifestyle
- Claiming your life - uninhibited
Held at 150 Houston Street, Suite 300, Batavia, IL 60510
January 8, 2008 from 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Registration is required for the Relationship Dynamics classes. Please
call Bonnie at 630-406-0075 by 1/04/08 to register. Class fees are
$35/person or $60 per couple
Things I Learned at Changing Patterns
"After just the second session in our men's group, I feel "liberated". Thank you for creating this venue and guiding me to face and conquer the "demon" I've been carrying for the past 30 years.
I now understand and am rid of guilt I've carried all those years. It has helped me restore the confidence and self assurance I've been struggling to attain. I feel free to be the husband and parent my wife and kids deserve."
Jerry
News:
Beginning January, 2008, the Making Conscious Choices Newsletter will be sent out quarterly and the Relationship Dynamics Classes will be held quarterly. Bonnie started the newsletter and classes without realizing the amount of time involved in creating each of these resources. She has learned a valuable lessen in how frequently "monthly" comes around!
Topics for the 2008 Relationship Dynamics Class
January - Living without regrets
April - Manage your mind - Manage your stress
July - The unspoken dance of power
October - Parenting strategies that work
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