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| Changing Patterns Newsletter
Making Conscious Choices |
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Did you ever say you'd do something and then regret saying you would do it? I've experienced one of those "life lessons" recently and hope what I've learned could also help you.
In the last Changing Patterns Newsletter in October, I informed you that I was going to replace this quarterly newsletter with a blog. My intention was to stay connected with you on a more regular basis and stay current with media trends. What I wasn't paying enough attention to are my limited time constraints and where I do want to focus my energy and time. I will explain more in my article below, I wanted you to know why you are still receiving the newsletter.
As a result of my own life lesson, the focus of this newsletter is claiming your strengths. May you be inspired to identify what you do well, your personality strengths and tendencies, what you truly enjoy doing and saying "NO" when answers to these questions don't coincide!
Bonnie |
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MAKING COURSE CORRECTIONS BY CLAIMING YOUR STRENGTHS!
By Bonnie Artman
It's the start of the New Year and I have made a course correction! It's refreshing to know we can start over at anytime when we take the time to figure out what is really important to us.
Most of us spend a great deal of time wondering how we're wired up. We may have a sense of what comes naturally to us but..... do we focus on those talents and strengths or on the areas where we fall short? How much do we leverage our strengths to reach our goals and dreams?
Recently I have been reading the book StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath. The approach of the book is identifying and developing one's strengths instead of focusing on shortcomings that need to be improved upon. The premise is if one focuses on what they do best, they will be more successful, motivated, and ultimately happier. In addition I took the ennegram, one of many personality tests available to determine one's personality style. Though I have done these types of assessments in the past, I like to periodically see if things have changed. Overall my strengths have stayed the same, yet I did learn something new about myself.
The above assessment process gave me one of those life lessens that may seem trivial to you, yet it was an "aha" moment for me.
I mentioned in my introduction to this newsletter that I have decided not to start a blog. It is hard to for me go back on my word, as I strive to do what I say I will do. I am all about taking risks and stretching outside my comfort zone, however, something just didn't feel right about the timing of starting a blog now.
I realized I was taking a detour from the path of what is really important to me. The "signs of our times" were telling me in order to stay current with modern technology, I needed to have a blog. I wasn't taking into consideration the time and energy needed to keep a blog current. Instead of "keeping up with the times", I needed to protect my time by focusing on what I really want to do and combine that focus within my areas of strengths.
Perhaps one day I will start a blog. Today I intend to focus on tasks that allow me to claim the strengths that best fit the path of my goals and dreams.
Here are some take-a ways from my life lesson:
· Respect your time and your strengths
· Stay true to what you know is best for you (even if it is different from what is "keeping up with the times"
· Consider what "course corrections" you may need to take in this New Year to claim your strengths and experience a more fulfilling life! |
A NEW YEAR!
So, Let's Get Building
By Beth Norman
Out with the old, and in with the new! Now that's exciting business. I think the person who coined that phrase was on to something big. A favorite quote of mine comes from Albert Einstein who once brilliantly said, "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." This tells us that we need to raise the bar and get mindful of the things we really want to change.
The start of a brand new year seems to be a natural time to reflect on what we'd like to see changed. More personally, my own hopes, dreams, goals and resolve I have for the coming year. For some, all that may be needed is to simply restore the renewal process. As a parent, I like to include my children in this process, which could very easily be defined as strength building.
A great majority of us have a tendency to list our weaknesses and failures as our resolutions. Can you imagine delivering a hand-written list to your children of all their failures and shortcomings? How awful that would be! Of course, I'm not saying to stay away from the areas that need to be improved upon. On the contrary, turning weaknesses into strengths is a great work with unbelievable rewards. Guiding my children's sense of purpose, encouraging their dreaming, setting goals as well as celebrating their successes is a most fulfilling experience. However, one of the biggest challenges for me is to carefully walk the line of uncovering weaknesses and turning them into strengths!
Fingerprints that are only one of its kind, a billion-dollar computer we call the brain to a built-in software that encompasses all of our children's unique strengths and abilities is nothing short of miraculous! Natural strengths and abilities are easy to identify because our children tend to gravitate toward them. It's not strenuous nor is it work but aligns itself with fun! All we need to do is simply observe them in action and then shine the spotlight on what we see! Surely, it doesn't have to be something that is performed; it can be as valuable as your child possessing an abundance of any given virtue. Affirming your child's unique character traits often will bring their attention to these qualities and begin to build self-value. Even when you are in the delicate process of turning a weakness into strength, purposely allow them to over-hear you talking to someone else about an ability or strength you are especially proud of. This is very powerful.
Sometimes strength is born out of weakness!
One personal example of turning a weakness into strength is when my kids would reach the tender age of about 7 or 8. There would always come a day while driving to school, when someone would say with much anxiety and apprehension, "What if so and so calls me a name?" "What if so and so makes fun of what I'm wearing today?" "What if..." and on and on it would go. Instinctively wanting to save their little soul from anyone's ridicule, I would want to confidently respond back, "oh, now don't you worry, no one is going to call you a name...and, certainly no one is going to make fun of you for that..." I mean, why would they? Not your kid's right? Wrong! Knowing full well that my child has either experienced or witnessed such torment, I would respond by... AGREEING! I would say, "You know, you're right, there is a good chance at some point that someone will call you a name or make fun of you for something." Taking their worry one step further, I would ask, "So, what will you do"? This has helped my kids to think about how they were thinking about the matter! Great dialogue and role-playing different scenarios very often ensued. What could have been a perfect environment for weakness to take root, can with intentional practice, become a great strength.
Strength building is a dynamic process. Here are a few more simple ideas that have helped me within my own family building.
Words worth Mentioning. Have intentional conversations with your kids about great words such as humbleness, trustworthiness, bravery, modesty and gratitude. How about bragging, conceit, boasting or prideful? Teaching my kids about these words and then putting them or not putting them into practice has made a wonderful impact on their personhood. My kids are becoming sensitive to when they're around someone who is humble or someone who is bragging. I always try and remind them, when in the company of others, to wait and let someone else do the complimenting!
Shake On It. Intentionally practice meeting people! My husband would always make it a priority to teach our kids on how to meet people. This is something that keeps on happening for a lifetime. Ahead of time, he would remind our kids that today they were going to be introduced to a few people. Church was always a great atmosphere to do this. When introduced, he would tell them to find the other person's eyes, stretch out your right hand, shake and smile. This has been a great strength building exercise; even our youngest son who struggles with shyness prevails.
Traditional New Year's Resolution Gathering. Our family officially gets together for the express purpose of setting new goals on New Year's Day. We usually take our kids out for a lovely dinner at a nice restaurant. This has been a great way for us to celebrate togetherness. Over the course of dinner, we spend our time reflecting on the highlights of the past year, special accomplishments and so forth. Then everyone shares what their new goals are and how they plan on realizing those goals. I love doing this for many reasons, but I love the fact that all of my kids get to listen to each other's visions besides their own.
Create a "Secret Can of Words". We have a can that is easily accessible wherein everyone in the family is encouraged to drop a quick note on a tiny piece of paper. Whenever anyone is grateful by another person's action or would like to convey how much they appreciate/admire another, they secretly write it down and deposit it in the can. When the can gets full, we have an impromptu time and read aloud the various compliments about different family members. It's so heartwarming and it's a great way to build up strength and esteem!
Intentionally spending time in the strength building process eventually will create a culture of character within your family!
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Things I learned from Changing Patterns...
"Three years ago I had just started to attend community college and I was an emotional and physical mess. Those months I spent struggling to leave the house and to get on with daily life were the darkest months of my life. After a month or two of being afraid to leave the couch I took the first steps to get where I am today. I began to change the patterns in my life. It's been a long journey, one that is ongoing, and I'm happy to say that I have had tremendous success in claiming my life back. I found the courage to go to a four year school away from home. I'm 21 now with the whole world in front of me and I'm very excited to take the tools I have learned at Changing Patterns with me to Germany later this year, where I will be spending 10 months in a study abroad program.
I've grown so much since that first snowy March day I came in to see you, thank you for giving me the tools that have helped me come this far."
Joe
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RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
WHEN LIFE DOESN'T TURN OUT AS PLANNED
What do you do when life doesn't turn out as planned?
In these past months have you been asking yourself why your life hasn't turned out as you had hoped and dreamed? Do you feel frustrated? Are you concerned about how this will affect your family; especially your children who don't fully understand but are very aware that you are struggling with either personal change or the current economy?
Are you aware that difficult times require a different perspective with greater insight? Whether it is the current economic turmoil or other unexpected losses of longed for dreams - disillusionment, discouragement and even depression can set in when life doesn't turn out as planned. Do you feel you could use some help to successfully maneuver the waters of change we are experiencing in our nation and personal lives today? Uncertain times give us an opportunity to explore our life and reclaim a resolve to persevere.
This interactive workshop will equip and empower you in several areas:
- Coping styles: that will enable you to successfully resolve conflicts in your life
- Insight: that will help you claim (or re-claim) your strengths
- Renew your focus: what is really important to you.
- Gain perspective: hard times can leverage family problems into family growth.
$35/Person or $60/Couple
Saturday, March 28, 2009 ~ 9:00 am - 12:00 p.m.
236 Webster Street (corner of Webster & VanBuren) Batavia, IL 60510
Limited seating: Besides a morning of inspiration, you will be served a phenomenal French toast Breakfast!
Reserve your seat by calling Bonnie Artman at 630-406-0075.
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NEWS:
*Resources if you'd like to learn more about your personality type:
The Enneagram, available at www.enneagraminstitute.com, cost $10, the Myers-Briggs available from www.knowyourtype.com, cost $99. Others are listed in this Time Magazine article from September 23, 2002, "What Breed of a Dog are you?" by Anita Hamilton, http://www.time.com.
*Bonnie will be speaking for AATP on April 24th. This all day workshop is geared for Therapists and Nurses to earn continuing education hours to licensure requirements. Her topic is "When life doesn't turn out as planned".
*If you would like to be part of the "preview" of the above topic, Bonnie will be offering an adapted version to clients and the Fox Valley Community on Saturday, March 28th from 9-12pm. The location of the workshop will be held at 236 Webster Street in Batavia. See details above under Relationship Dynamics Class. *Celtic Connections, an organization that offers personal development for women, is offering their spring week-end retreat on April 17-19th in Lake Geneva. Go to www.Celticconnect.com to learn more and to register for the spring retreat.
Looking for a speaker? Bonnie speaks to groups who want to enhance relationships and live with purpose and meaning. Her presentations offer practical tools to create harmonious family relationships and cover topics such as conflict resolution, the art of listening and living without regrets. If you are looking for someone to speak at an event, a presentation can be tailor-made for you. Bonnie can be reached by phone at 630-406-0075 or by email at changingpatterns@yahoo.com. | |
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| Quote of the Month |
"Love what you do - many things will catch your eye, but few will catch your heart, pursue those" |
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Mac Anderson From Essence of Leadership |
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